Sad

I’ve had to stop myself many times about writing this…

Recently, I was in a relationship with someone much much younger than I am.

I’ve had my heart broken so I’ve been broken.

I was honest about this from the word go.

Due to the age difference there were alot of comprises made.

I thought~ let me give this a shot…

I explained how I am constantly so there wouldn’t be any shocking details left out.

There were always compliments, which were wonderful.

In the history of never did I expect certain things to play out as they did…

Of course I was sweet on him from the word go but things just weren’t adding up..

Things can never go well when you have to ask family members if certain behaviors are the norm for him…

Look, I’m not trying to be hurtful or mean but wtf

I kept being told research depression… so I did

If the sole problem was depression, I could handle that…

The mood swings, understandable to a degree & boy there were alot of them…

Silent treatment crap… also understandable to a degree… but when that crap gets to be a daily routine, no bueno

Hot headed temper tantrums became a constant

Silence immediately upon walking in the door… always walking around with this angry face…

But what through me over the edge was the growling through the teeth while standing over me in an disageements… now that was a game changer

I’m a pretty calm person for the most part, but when you hit certain buttons all the time… the nice Anne goes to shit…

I noticed I was constantly angry, all the time… especially at him

I already had alot of shit on my plate & for these behaviors to become normal I’d had enough.

Why is it when you are dealing with someone that has these behaviors, everyone else is to blame?

You’re constantly on alert, the ever feeling of something is going to go wrong & it lingers over you & you never know what it will be to set them off.

At 49, I think I’m pretty good at reading the writing on the wall…

I am no angel & I have huge flaws but this was too much…

The ever alluding to taking over all the bills… ummmm no sir, that never happened

The promises, oh the promises… when things are done to prevent money flow- how can there be any?

Missed days, half days… excuses out of no where… & the attitude that would ensue once the paycheck wasn’t what was required… lord

You can’t tell me that doing nice things here & there will make up for it.

While I sincerely appropriated them, it’s NOT enough & was never consistent

I’m not trying to hurt him or discredit him at all by speaking my truth…

There’s a point when you have to cut your losses & put your foot down…

I’m NOT going to air his dirty laundry but I will say this… depression & manipulation are two completely different animals.

When revealing history be mindful that time lines need to match… I got none of that.

There is absolutely no way that all these events could take place unless they started when you were 5… I’m not an idiot…

The opportunity was given to elevate… that never happened

There was always an excuse… added in with silence & hot headed temper tantrums

When is enough enough?

End game was “You better call my mom & tell her why you are doing this, I need her to know it’s not my fault!” & let’s not forget the “I’m glad you came back because I was going to clear out this mf’er”

What the bloody fuck? Is this a joke? All the I’m sorries in the world can’t fix that!

So you came here with nothing but wanna leave here grinching my shit? Fuck no!

All the days home early but pitching a fit everytime a check looks fucked up… wth

Again, Constantly talking about emptying your bank account for me… with what? Not always working a full week & ending up with poor checks… by giving 3 or 4 here & there, not so much. Did you give me money? Sure but not near what you claim….

& the loans, omg… just a mess

I’m not to blame for the loans, I kept saying please don’t get them…. just stop

On top of that, the endless posts on fb with the claims that they were “In General”

& then the verbal fb attack on my son, which he claims to love like a brother… just stop

At first we were all nice & neatly tucked under a wing & then disregarded like trash

In the end, it leaves me with “A lesson learned ” NEVER ever ignore a gut instict, follow the voice telling you strongly, this will not end well

A boom! It’s just sad!