Beauty Smiles

that after today

a nosey, lying, disrespectful

convicted preditor

won’t be reading my shit

enjoy your 2 years!!

I will pray for you

but karma is served!

How do you lie & disrepect

the one person

that was in your corner

to help you raise your ambition

& life goals for the better!

I had absolutely no self gain

in guiding you for you

I never wished ill will or malice

& yet you fucked up your own life

willingly, that shit was a choice

you single handedly reap

exactly what you sow.

ended up with the daughter

of a crack head

had drugs & other mess

around her baby brother

I can’t say I’m shocked!

it is what it is

& you want to make me out to be

the bad guy in your story

all because I wouldn’t stand by your side

so I can end up looking like a fool

no sir!

enjoy that shit, you deserve it

& I knew all along the catfish story

was total bullshit

& you read my shit

& have the fucking audacity

to be mad

gtfoh with that mess

peace out

& don’t drop the soap!

it’s a hard Fuck you for real

bye fucker!

now who’s dead to a muthah fuckah

keep my name out ya mouth

Noone gets a guilty verdict

without facts to seal the deal

jokes on you now

car gone, apt gone, chick gone

not to mention your life!

life’s about choices

you made yours

🤔🤭🤫🖕🙋🏼‍♀️😅🤣

I tossed & turned

not a wink of sleep

I shutter to think

how could I be involved

with someone so heartless

how could I allow myself to

continually accept the deciet

I keep going over it all

over & over

I truly was Dancing with the Devil

I was in a den of deception

thieves if you will

stealing truths & toxic secrets

from all those around you

a mother co-signing all of it

tainted with her twisted Venom

to act so godly but such nasty intent

in a pool of toxic vemon you swim

I saw a pure heart

what happened to you

coupled with the shine of fake friends

enamored in the fake limelight

of your drip squad car crew

too wrapped up in toxic

to stand up & be true

you are who you are

by being raised with that mess

the good I saw was pure

but so easily led astray

with poor choices & manipulation

clearly you couldn’t escape

I will pray for you

may you find peace in God’s grace

this will mark you forever

no matter how calm & even I spoke

& how tamed you appeared

there was a change

I saw it & believed in you

you failed yourself

& that makes me sad

you really had a good heart

& then something changed

you flipped back

you were ingulfed in a chain of insane

twisting out of control

man, you only have yourself to blame

I guess the judge saw through it all

2 years & then register for 10 years or life

a catfish… nahhhh

you did that shit & it was proved

you are now lost & all by yourself

she won’t wait for you

no job, no car, no girl & no life

& after it all

I’ll pray for you & your peace

I fear the next news

will be that

you took your own life

I will brace myself

& pray

because I was sent

to guide you through

it wasn’t that I wasn’t strong enough

I see that now

I hope God watches over you

I pray you find peace

you were & are

your own worst enemy

you chose to destroy

your own life

what a pity

I guess the truth is out

no hiding it now

no hiding the embarrassing facts

I hope it was worth it

even through it all

I don’t wish you ill will

I pray you keep yourself safe

the next 2 years are going to be hard

registering for ten years or whatever

I just can’t believe its really come to this

how can a mother cosign for such bs

but all the way around its karma

I have a sneaky feeling you will try to run

best believe they will find you

don’t make the situation worse

face the music & deal

I fear it will end poorly

don’t take your own life

I wish you’d taken a different path

all I can do is shake my head

& wonder why

just why

so sad 😞 😥

this is more then just

goodbye

its a chapter over

end of story

heart breaking

so sad

all the lies

its nothing more than

blah blah blah

I can’t even cry

I’ve reached indifferent

toodles & 🖕🖐

Isn’t it funny how

you can meet someone

have a superb reciprocal flow

an intellectual rapport

every single interaction is amazing

with absolutely no intimate exchange

after multiple conversations

so much sharing & then poof

ghost……….

what actually went wrong?

hmmmmmmm…..

doesn’t it make you wonder

was it me or was it them

were they just not ready for real?

did you come off too strong?

what’s with the disappearing act

what’s up with that honestly?

should I see it as weak?

or childish?

the just weren’t ready?

what’s up with that?

for real?

I saw a picture of you today

it literally made my heart skip a beat

I wonder of you often

but today’s picture made your memory so very sweet

I toss & turn wondering

do you still have any trouble falling asleep

silly things cross my mind

like caressing your cheek

& who’s face is next to yours when you lay down for zzzzz’s

I remember how easy it was to stare into your eyes

& your voice that always gave me butterflies

your smile and laugh fills my mind with fantasies

do you think of me as I do you

will our paths ever cross again?

yes, my love

a huge chuck of my heart is still dreaming of you

the wind brushe’s bye somedays

& I remember your kisses

I see the strength in you hands in all the little creases

simple things that are missed

because deceptions mischief

are you at peace

I’m mean are you truly happy

its sad how my heart forgives with each day that passes

that’s how love stories go

through fun, love & rough patches

I pray you remember

with a cheeky grin & side eye

we were 2 people

that’s love was not casted

writer’s block but I call it fear

for writing the words down makes it real

its like a bell that can’t be unrung

& so there you have written plainly

for all inquiring eyes to see

I will NEVER apologize for being me

I thought of you

in all its wonderous glory

I think of you often

believe it or not

sometimes, I shed a tear

as I sit in silence

for you were my peace

my saving grace

until our trauma bolds

replaced our peaceful place

I wish you no harm

& pray that you’re saved

I will Not apologize to the woman that gave you life

she cut my heart

deeper than any knife

one day you’ll stand up

& reclaim your life

from those that bind you

in a sick toxic plyth

where you will feel no fear

I was considered an angel once

breathing healthy air

into your lungs

now look how far

we’ve drifted apart

so until the day

I see your face

hold onto the knowledge

you’re still loved

in a most sacred place

full of pure love

A poem by E.E. Cummings

like a softly faded photo

a gentle breeze rustling through the trees

the warm glow on a sun kissed cheek

flowers opening with the caress of morning dew

how my heart flutters while being looked at by you

the refreshing scent of chestnuts roasting on the open fire

the crisp clean vision of the new fallen snow

the clouds dancing in the sky on a beautiful bright sunny day

the calming twinkle of lights glowing around a decorated Christmas tree

the joy that fills my heart as you smile knowing I love you