anne8991

some memories you hold onto to cherish

and some haunt you like a curse

but when I hold your hand in this place

its like a waltz not just any slow dance

I hear your messages

and I talk to you as I always do

calm and peaceful

and feel your body trying to relax

as the stress just melted away

so for now this is how we talk

and walk along the sand

laughing and joking

as only we can do

sometimes we hold hands

in our simple connection

of 2 people getting through life’s issues

brings me back to our slow dance

so different but yet so similar

and helped each other through

so much pain….

like walking on clouds

or skipping through the rain

I close my eyes

and see your face

in my dreamy place

just know I send you healing vibes

everything will be ok

heavey on my mind

April 25, 2021April 25, 2021 anne8991

thoughts racing

know that 1 day we will cross paths again

I can’t sleep, I can still see his smile

every time I close my eyes

memories flip past like an old movie

I hate that it was left with anger

I just thought we could talk through and resolve

some unhealed wounds

I hate that it couldn’t be more peaceful

we both have scars

I hate that I can’t fix it, nor can he

because we both handle things differently

I hate that there is no peace, just torment

I know that he are terribly unhappy

She’s not what he thought her to be

sorry sugar, she’ll never be me

I know I’m petty….. he is too

he lied and cheated without simple admission

I wish we could move past all this

so I wouldn’t have to be a bitch

I never asked for more than he was capable of giving….

“honesty no matter what!”

does he remember that part?

I’ve never been jealous, never will be

believe me, previous posts were in anger for that exact reason

writing it out is how I get it out

but he knows that or he wouldn’t still be reading

I remember when we could just look at each other & noone else existed

we had simple communication

a connection, an understanding

what happened to that?

If the situation he was in made him happy

I wouldn’t still be able to hear him speaking to me like a whisper on the wind

We promised to always remain friends

I can forgive the lying & even the cheating

but we will never be the same

I guess I was just trying to help him through

the BS your going through right now

we don’t need to be together for that

I know I helped to calm you restless spirit

and ease your soul

I truly understand parts of him

I truly wish him healing

I will always miss him and all his fun energy

I pray he finds the peace he need within

when he hears those songs

and birds singing

or the gentle breeze through trees

I’m sending him prays for serenity and tranquility

deep down he will always be a part of me

I’ll meet him the dreamy place

where we can talk and just breath

Tears

April 22, 2021April 25, 2021 anne8991

as I splash my pain across these pages

and let tears fall from my eyes

what’s done is done

No amount of I’m sorrys will ever be enough from both sides

I just wanted it all to stop

the wondering, & the wishing is over

for no more hurting & no more pain

I will whisper a prayer of healing across the night sky

& hope it meets its destination

I finally bit the bullet & texted

I wanted to make peace or try

that’s not how it went

I needed to say what caused my pain

I had no idea what he was thinking or feeling

because he never told me & he didn’t even try

I wish I could wave a magic wand

& make all that pain go away for him

but he’s still hurt

I was tired of the lies

I truly wish the best for him in all that he does

to wish that final Happy Birthday

but he never even replied

I tried make peace & not be enemies

I left him alone until now it was for so long

I am amazed he repled… he didn’t before

I thought I could find the right words

With no anger or malice in my heart

but unfortunately my words fall short

I will think of him often & in love

with all the fond memories of all the good.. disregard negative & bad

I pray he finds peace within himself

to be the bright star

I always saw in his eyes

I still love him & always will

one day he will find peace in his heart

& a calmness in his soul

Noone can erase what has been done

but with a smile & a tear

I am at peace… that is a work in progress

nothing beats a fail but a try

truth is I never wanted to say Goodbye

Ringing

March 15, 2021 anne8991

my ears are ringing and I can’t make them stop

sometimes when I say your name the sound mysteriously stops

I go days without sleeping

and its driving me crazy

my heart is at peace knowing I will never see you

I’ve released all the negativity

and pray that your choices were worth the pain you sent me

I can’t give you the things that youth will

karma will hand you what you deserve

your patterns are showing like a beacon of light in the dark of night

she won’t bring you the calmness I did

she’s too young to grasp tame that beast you hold within

being with her will be easy, so enjoy that for now

you’ll be disappointed when you realize there’s no substance inside her

harsh truth shines bright

now its to late to escape

too tired to continue with this line of thought

so I’ll drift off to sleep & be at peace

in that sleepy plain for you I’ll haunt your dreams

Do I miss you: Yes
Do I want to speak to you: Yes
Do I wish you harm: No not at all
Do I pray for your healing: Absolutely 100 %
Being under pressure made my inner Diamond shine.
The absence of my presence will haunt you.
I’m aware you see the signs…
Releasing you wasn’t easy… but I did.
.. your type of toxic was disturbing my peace!
Like a Phoenix from within the ash, I rise.