Author: anne8991

Will never leave me

Uou pop up unexpectedly

Its like your always with me

Sometimes it hurts

& sometimes brings me peace

Iim learning to accept those choices made

I never meant to be selfish

Its not about a ring

Thoughts of you never leave me

Kinda part of being a memory

We are connected

Magically joined in history

Its the light that brings a brightness to the soul

Through this pandemic we’ve all had a touch of depression

Trying to see the positive in all the negative floating around

The realization that noone can bring happiness to you & that its only found within

2020 has brought an immense amount t of pain

In the darkness of the deepest oceans there is beauty

In the shallows of the coral reefs there is beauty

In the center of a wounded heart there is beauty

Within a tormented souls there is Beauty

Flaws are beautiful

Just gaze on the gold filled cracks of a Japanese bowl

Beauty is everywhere, can we find it

Avoid pointless arguments & be comfortable saying No

Each journey starts with a small step

Take the step and allow your heart to heal

Courageously find the confidence to enjoy peace inside your own soul

I close my eyes and take a deep breath and allow myself to be free

I’ve said no & now I’m learning how to be free

So, I heard this story & thought this relates to my life in so many ways! the author is unknown to me but wanted to share:

My life has been filled with so many storms

but this storm strikes my heart…….

There once was a man

that was caught in a storm

& he thought to himself

“God will save me!”

just as the storm started a Sleigh came to him & he politely refused

Saying” God will save me!” & away went the sleigh with a slow pace in the breeze

& the storm slowly got stronger and the snow came to the man’s knees

as he looked up and some time had passed,

here comes the sliegh with the intent to help the man & bring him to rest

& again very politely the Man refused stating, “I know God will saved me!”

the sleigh went into the night slipping away with no reprieve

Again, the storm picked up and was not relenting at all

The man was covered with snow all the way to his chest

& again, slowly approaching was the sliegh to take the man so he could rest

Of course without hesitation the man Politely refused saying, “Don’t worry I know God will save me!”

and the sligh wisked away and not very much later in the freezing cold the man drifted off to sleep

The poor man passed away in the snow, in that sad freezing grave

At the gates to enter Heaven the man came upon the lord

& he simply said, I had faith and sadly you didn’t save me

May I ask why”

Our Peaceful Lord and Savior simply said

I sent the sliegh for you 3 times and you always refused!

I gave you the opportunity and you didn’t see the sign

If I ever send you back maybe you will see the gift that is given

and not give into your pride

The Lord smiled and simply said,

“Sometimes my children miss my signs and rotate in purgatory until they recognize”

The Moral is clear: and I have added my own little pieces

because my life fits in so many ways

Things fall in place

As you feel they are falling apart

I’m not in a good place

I’m sad constantly

I’m trying to be positive

But my frustration is obvious

I’m not always fun to be around

I’m cranky

My life is spinning out of control

I’m trying to be still but

One thing after another is failing

I’m letting go

& letting God take the wheel

Only he knows what races through my head

& what to do about it

I’m being still

As I sit here wondering

Thinking what of this

& what if that

I watch movies & ponder

Are you happy?

Do you realize what is being missed out on

I also wonder what exactly could have been done differently

Is there anything

Or is it exactly what it is?

I will forever be at a loss

The companionship

The friendship

All the while knowing it took forever to perfect that dance

The simple things like whats in your coffee or what’s in your tea

How do you like this prepared and that

What you will eat or what you won’t

Where you’ll go or won’t

Will you watch this movie or that

Sooner or later I will find my way

This will cause me pain until it doesn’t

That is just the way it has to be

Its sad & disappointing

But 1 day it will all be ok

Missing you

My at first sight

My dejavu

My safe place

My safety net

My punchline maker

My favorite partner in crime

Once, my dream come true

My world tour

Wishes in the air

Balloons swaying in the breeze

Some memories are good

& some aren’t which is ok

At 1 point or another

Both won’t feel like pain slamming me across the chin

Visions of you evaporating like smoke rings

Stop holding back

& write what you feel

Bc deep down only my heart needs to heal

Its not up for discussion

A conversation or debate

These are my thoughts

& my opinion is all that really needs this space

I spent far too much time afraid to hurt others with my thoughts

& now here it is

I don’t honestly give a shit

Im going to write until I can’t anymore

So its not my problem if you feeling are swept off the floor

When you follow a plan

& stay true to your heart

Watching cetain shows has always been a thing

ID, The First 48 & Forensic files to name a few

But in my semi depression

Ive chosen to over dose on the Hallmark

Christmas I July specials

I’m a firm believer that this is a holiday far under celebrated

I want it to happen everyday of the year

It lightens the spirit

& brings a sense of joy

Remi ds me to always pray for a miracle

Opening your heart is never a lost cause

Santa truly bring what’s in your heart

Every year I need reminding to NEVER GIVE UP

It My be corny

& a fairytale

& I will keep my focus

All framed with elation 😂 ❤

After doing things the hard way

I finally learned to be true to myself

Thing may not be pretty

& or wrapped in a Bow

Bit if they are meant to be

It will most definitely be so!

I’ve

Im looking at the views on my posts that I write

Russia, Canada & China to name a few

I never thought anyone would look

Or pay attention to what I write

How did these people find me

To track what I’ve done

Its crazy to think

My life’s stories are read

Like a spider’s web being spun

When I have a flow in my mind

I try to put it down

So I won’t loose the thoughts

To be re read later for fun

One day I’ll write a mystery

& tell tales of who lives & dies

When I close my eyes

I see his face

I know each little each of the marks and whiskers

& where they are placed

Sometimes I miss him

& sometimes I don’t

How did we get here

At a point where in my mind we will never again speak

Our bond was strong

Through thick & thin

Even through the mistakes

That took years to repair

All our movies & songs

Tells a significant love story

We knew all the lines

& constantly shared them with each other

As a simply reminder

That we would always be there for each other

With my mistakes, I was forgiven

& im not sure if I can do the same

Only time will tell

How that part will end

I know I will forever love him

But my hand will not stroke his cheek again

Everyday I tell myself that I’m ok

I guess realitynis I’m just afraid

I relied on that safe place that is no longer mine

He asked me once to share what I saw when I look in the sky

Plainly knowing the obvious was not it at all

I look for guidance in those no longer with us

Praying they will give me the strength

To get through, what my heart really needs

Its sad I can’t ask you

Those were the days

So long

& good bye