In my mind

I had hoped to help elevate you

For years I thought I had

It’s a painful realization to know that someone I invested into so caringly

Could play in my face

Not take full accountability for risking the US and my health

And the only statement made was “it wasn’t intentional “

Utter bullshit

All while giving such attention to others & risking my boundaries so carelessly

It was intentional by giving yourself to others intimately & so recklessly & lying about it

A 30 minute debate until you admit the truth

I use this, a drawer full of that, I doubled up, but the timeline

You’re not sorry

You’re careless, reckless & my inside op

Manipulating to keep in my circle

Sad that the test result forced you to submit the truth

All while being an energy vampire

Trying to relay how good of a person you are… delusional really!

Had you not learned anything for all the colossal mistakes already made?

No growth, no progress, just stagnation in toxicity

I will never look at you the same

I hear it over & over

“I don’t chase nothing !”

blah blah blah

Deception lead you to infection

How’s that devil feel on your back?

As good as all the pumps to get to the nut

All that and the cost is infinite

So permanent that you couldn’t even see it

Nor did you care to

That all destroyed years of any bond we built

All that races in my mind

Now sit in that loss

I bet it wasn’t even worth it

Makes me nauseated

I can’t even look at your face

I look back at every supportive conversation, encouraging messages

Cheerleading like a fool

What a waste of my effort, my time, my spirit, my energy

I had tried to show you a better way

But I appreciate I finally see the real you

No mask, no pretending anymore

I would never have done any of it to you

But I guess you can finally make Mommy happy, you’re free of me

Back to that broken, toxic bullshit atmosphere you’re used to

Free to be yourself

Just remember you can’t live life hurting people

And not pay the price

That Devil’s contract is deadly

& you signed on the dotted line

So free & easily

The grass isn’t greener but in time you will see

Pat yourself on the back tink tink

Your greatest loss was me!

I hope you feel in in your chest

The Devil has you on your knees

Tortured by the pure memory of me!