as I look at the people in my life
both past and present
I see people that have shaped me
in one way or another
the women in my life have been
strong and bold
intelligent, witty, sarcastic
at at time warranted or not
out right vicious and cruel
whether it be thier up bringing
or cruelty dealt them
its no excuse to spread that negativity
this platform is mine
at at no point will I explain
make excuses or apologize
for anything I write or feel
I’m tired of having to explain myself
if you don’t like my truth
in my expression
to ease my inner hurt
don’t read my shit
point blank period
back to my thoughts
the one man in life
my dad… while not perfect
and had his ways
while at times astranged
through misguided intentions or
not he is MY dad
when I was young he claimed me
as his child, and did so with his whole heart
he was not evil, he was not cruel
he was & is strong
he shared his wisdom & with
dignity and charm
also a very sarcastic & witty
he was the first impression
of how a man is supposed to be
while he had his ways
and being young I didn’t understand them
I don’t believe he ever meant me any harm
back to my point
the 3 most important people
in my life….
like I said helped shape me
good,bad and indifferent
these are facts
2 of them in a war
that everyone lost
My mom and my dad
these 2 people were perfect
it took me a very long time to grasp
they both were just like me
with a life of things that shaped them too
& 1 day out of nowhere my life broke into 2
later into 3 but I’m not there yet.
back to my little piece of paradise
well not so paradise with 2 older brothers
that tortured me relentlessly
& always got away with it
I was an awkward kid
that daughter demons & wet the bed
looking back now
I was pretty clever
what an easy way to keep the demons away
I would rather take a painful
ass woopin & some humiliation
with jokes and teasing
than have a demon try to touch
or mess with me in my sleep
but I’m not writing about that now
back to where I was going
I was a pretty good kid
& didn’t really misbehave
I knew a few things
I was hard of hearing
so when I got mad
total silence in my head
an atomic bomb could go off
this girl, nope I didn’t hear a thing
back to my Dad
I can’t remember any swears
ever coming out of his mouth
I was always impressed by that
So when my world calapsed
and everything was changing
I felt I got lost in the shuffle
and noone cared
so I told of my demons &
they both in thier way saved me from that
but the battle they had was crazy
and strange
I couldn’t understand
all the anger and straight rage
all I could think I needed felt about
how, what, when and why did it all change
like a switch in the night
had been flipped
& my world was inside out
this is enough for now
thinking of my past
I need to sit back & just relax
Beauty Smiles 