I’m trying

to grant myself the permission to be broken

to heal my own way

to be ok with my sadness

tears are healing

let them flow

let go of those that I painfully and desperately wanted to hold on to

I want the memories to stop replaying

I want the haunts to fade from my mind

I want people to apologize for thier wrong doing

I want honesty, truth & respect

I want to be at peace

I know I’ve given far more to others than I gotten in return

& know that Karma will crash full force

I don’t want to see the aftermath

I want no part of it

slivers of my past keep creeping in my mind

like a bad video game or movie

I’m seriously just wanting it all to stop

I am feeling like a failure

and can’t seem to have even the littlest things go right

but I am thankful and I do count my blessings

God, please let my mind rest